What are the key differences between the two versions of this news release, i.e., 1) the original draft and 2) the one in the answer key? Is version #2 more effective than version #1? If so, what...

What are the key differences between the two versions of this news release, i.e., 1) the original draft and 2) the one in the answer key? Is version #2 more effective than version #1? If so, what makes it more effective? If it is not effective, why not?