We will be using the essay "My First Day In Laos" for this activity that we graded using the rubric. It is a good example of a first draft of a narrative essay. Many of you cited a lack of an introduction,so create one.
I don't want you to take the time to revise this whole essay, Please limit yourself torevising the your first three paragraphs.
Your submission should be in APA format with a cover sheet.
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in Laos
By Jason S., amarillo, TX
After getting all of luggage's, and get everything checked out, like our passport, and some other stuff I don’t remember. When walked out of the airport, the whole family was waiting for us to show up. After everybody gave each others hugs, they were deciding who was going to drive with who, then my cousin told everyone that he will just take me. After he told them that, we took off and my cousin threw me the car keys to his Honda. At first I thought it was for putting the bags into the trunk. When I was about to throw him the keys to the car, he told me "what are you doing your driving" he also said "don’t tell the parents". At first when I got in the car I was nervous because that was my first time driving. When we left the airport we went to the family restaurant, because that is where everyone is headed.
When we got to the restaurant the whole family was already there so when we got out of the car, we got caught by our other cousin's. We told them not tell but there was a price to it we had to give them 20 dollars each. Sitting there for a couple of hours. My aunt who lives in Laos told everyone it time to go to work at the restaurant. Usually they open earlier but they had to go pick us up. After hearing her saying it time to go me and my cousin were the first to leave so, I can drive the car.
At first in my mind that was the best part of the trip. But I knew there going to be more. When we got to the store me and my cousin had to put in the drinks in the fridge. When I asked if I could get a drink I asked, for a cup and he told me that they don’t put it in cups they use bags. When I thought about it at first I said that strange but when I saw it I thought it was pretty cool. As the time was about to hit twelve o'clock my cousin told me that get ready all the kids from school is about to come cause it's almost there lunch time. I told them to wake me up in about 10 minutes. They asked me why am I going to sleep I said "because I’m still tired from the plane trip." .
But before I know it I was already twelve o'clock. I was disappointed because I couldn’t get a little nap in I wouldn’t have mind to get a least 5 minutes would be fine with me. Then when I looked over to the front the door I saw a whole bunch of school students coming this way, and I asked my cousin "is it going to be like this everyday?" he said this is not that much people. Me and my cousin were in charge of the drinks. The restaurant sold all kinds of Asian food.
After hours of serving drinks. The rush hour was gone. I thought it was time to close up. Everyone looked at me like I was crazy or something. Then they told me that we still have dinner and it going to get even crazier because a lot of people order out. The time between lunch and dinner, I see people coming in and out. All I was doing was playing some games and chilling with my cousin. As I watched the people walk in and out I thought to myself is that we are lucky because some people in Laos live on the street and when it gets cold it feels like everything is frozen. After while somebody came and tapped me on my shoulder and said it time to go home and rest for tomorrow. I asked my cousin did I sleep threw the dinner rush and he said yeah you did.