- Watch the following clip, taken from the television show,The Office
https://vimeo.com/157447379
- Answer the following questions:
- What is wrong with Dwight’s listening feedback?
- What steps in the listening process are the women in the room trying to get Dwight to engage in?
- Questions 1 and 2 can be answered in 2-3 sentences total.
- Dwight's poor listening serves as an example of the fact that the 5-steps of the listening process are interrelated. Write 2-3 sentences explaining how his poor listening skills/behavior demonstrate the interconnectedness of the the 5 steps.
Chapter 7: Active Listening Chapter 7: Active Listening 1 Agenda Listening vs Hearing 5-step listening process 5 functions of listening 4 listening styles Gender + Listening, culture + listening Obstacles of listening competence Active Listening Listening Skills “The scares in horror movies almost always begin with sounds… Horror screenwriters use sounds to trigger fear because they know the powerful role that listening plays in our lives. Listening is our most primal and primary communication skill: as children, we develop the ability to listen long before we learn how to speak, read, or write.” YouTube link here: The Babadook https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQ9PwIkrf-M 3 Listening vs hearing Hearing is a physiological activity it occurs when sound waves hit functioning ear drums Hearing isn’t the only way we receive messages We also receive communication through nonverbal behaviors, sign language, reading lips Listening More complex and active “The process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken and/or nonverbal messages” *This info was largely taken from Communication Mosaics by Julia Wood, 8th edition, p. 110 Listening vs hearing Why does Jamie Foxx’s character think that Baby isn’t listening? YouTube link: Baby Driver Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGpkmd00Zls 5 Listening vs hearing Who here has ever has ever felt that someone technically heard what you (or someone else) was saying but that they weren’t actually listening? Why? What’s the difference between listening and hearing in practice? 5-step listening process Receiving Attending Understanding Responding Recalling Step 1: Receiving Communication Receiving communication Seeing/hearing Physically receiving the communication Through hearing sounds, sign language, non-verbal body language, lip reading Step 2: Attending Attending Devoting your attention to the information you received Is the information salient? Is it visually or audibly stimulating or unexpected Or is it personally important? Limit multi-tasking to improve focus Elevate your attention Step 2: Attending Elevate your attention Be mindful of your attention levels when listening “Notice how various factors, such as fatigue, stress, or hunger, influence your attention” (p.180, 5e) Take note at times when it’s important for you to pay attention, but your attention is low Try to increase the salience Actively remind yourself about the importance of the relationship Identify techniques that work for you, like sitting at the front of the classroom or away from a distracting noise Try mental bracketing Working to actively set aside thoughts to immediately relevant Step 3: Understanding “Interpreting the meaning of another person’s communication by comparing newly received information against our past knowledge” (p.181, 5e) It involves both short and long-term memory When attending to new information, you place that new information in your short term memory You also recall relevant information from long-term memory p.181, 5e Step 4: Responding You communicate to the other person that you have attended to what they have said, and that you understand Feedback is included here Verbal and non-verbal responses that you engage in while the other person is speaking/communicating Step 4: Responding Paraphrasing Repeating back important parts of what the other person said, but in your own words You are showing that you’re listening but you’re not advancing the conversation Because you are restating what has already been said Step 4: responding Clarifying When you ask a question to check your understanding Step 4: responding Not the only 2 ways to respond We paraphrase, give feedback, ask questions, make jokes, offer our own ideas, etc Step 5: Recalling Remembering information later Important so you can reference key details later in the conversation or even later in the relationship Failure of all 5 steps: Example What is wrong with Dwight’s listening feedback? How is someone’s response related to other steps in the listening process? Vimeo video link: The Office, S9E7 8:20-9:45 17 5 functions of listening 5 functions of listening Listening to comprehend Listening to discern Listening to analyze Listening to appreciate Listening to support Listening to Comprehend Listening to comprehend Listening to understand information presented to you Often what you are doing in class Listening to Discern Listening to discern Distinguishing sounds from one another to decipher something (tone, words, etc) Trying to determine tone, sound, what is being said, what a sound is, etc. Is that scraping noise outside your window a tree or an intruder? You are listening to discern in that situation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7X_WvGAhMlQ 21 Listening to Discern This is a viral example of a time when many of us foolishly devoted our time to listening to discern A large portion of the internet tried to distinguish sounds, tried to decipher sounds https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7X_WvGAhMlQ 22 Listening to Analyze Evaluating a message, looking for meaning Beyond basic comprehension Interpretation, cultural analysis A film or TV critic May summarize the plot in a review And also discuss themes, the cultural importance of the film, by analyzing the content Listening to Appreciate We often listen to appreciate when we listen to a friend or a comedian tell a funny story Most of us probably listen to appreciate when watching a stand-up comic Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=21&v=63RcymipKuY&feature=emb_logo 24 Listening to Support Listening to a friend or partner tell you about their accomplishment 5 functions of listening Listening to comprehend Listening to understand information presented to you Listening to discern Distinguishing sounds from one another to decipher something (tone, words, etc) Listening to analyze Evaluating a message, looking for meaning Listening to appreciate Listening to a friend tell a funny story Listening to support Listening to a friend or partner tell you about their accomplishment Going back and forth between styles and functions functions of listening Talking to a friend who is telling a funny story, you probably want to listen to appreciate Listening to analyze in that situation probably wouldn’t be the most effective mode of listening, as a friend Most of us listen to appreciate when watching TV, movies, or stand-up comedy But a cultural or comedy critic might listen to analyze when watching a TV show or a stand-up comic instead They might have to write about the show for their job, for example A cultural critic or comedy reviewer might watch the comedy clip from the previous slide to analyze, and focus on how Mulaney tackles the issue of generational changes in the Catholic church with humor We all switch back and forth between different styles and functions of listening, depending on the situation It is good know what listening style to use and what your listening goals are (that’s the function part—are you listening to appreciate or to support?) in a given situation. You want to be able to move between listening styles and shift the function of your listening as the situation calls for it That is a sign of listening competence Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=21&v=63RcymipKuY&feature=emb_logo 27 4 Listening Styles 4 Listening Styles Listening styles “reflect our attitudes, beliefs, and predispositions about listening.” Action-oriented listeners Time-oriented listeners People-oriented listeners Content-oriented listeners Listening Styles We learn our listening styles through observation and communicative interaction You likely have a dominant style, but you should use all 4 in communication, as is necessary You can consciously switch styles to be an active listener in a way that best suits the situation Action-oriented listeners “Those who prefer to receive brief, to-the-point, accurate information for decision making or for initiating a course of action. For example, a supervisor who requires brief summaries from department heads and does not want to bat around details in long meetings.” (174, 4e) Time-oriented listeners “Time-oriented listeners prefer brief and concise encounters. They tend to let others know in advance exactly how much time they have available for each conversation. Time-oriented listeners want to stick to their allotted schedules and often look at clocks, watches, or phones to ensure this is the case” (174, 4e). People-oriented listeners “Those who view listening as an opportunity to establish commonalities between themselves and others. For example, Carl enjoys Elaine’s descriptions of the triumphs and difficulties she’s had learning to snowboard” (174, 4e). Content-oriented listeners “Those who prefer to be intellectually challenged by messages—they prefer complex, detailed information. For example, a supervisor reviews the success of a fund-raising event by requesting data analyzing the effectiveness of her team’s publicity campaign instead of asking to hear about team members’ experiences” (175, 4e). Culture and listening Respectful, active listening doesn’t look the same in every culture It varies based on other cultural factors we’ve already discussed For example: The US is action and time oriented when it comes to listening People often emphasize time This goes both ways “do you have time to talk?” And ‘Yes, I have 10 minutes” Even the person who doesn’t have the time constraint” may cease listening actively if they know their “time is up” because they are worried about encroaching on the other person’s time Gender and Listening Research shows that listening style tends to differ by gender “Women are more likely than men to use people-oriented and content-oriented listening styles, and men are more likely to use time-oriented and action-oriented styles” (176, 4e). Researchers have concluded that men tend to be more task oriented when listening, whereas women view listening as both intellectual and emotional (176). Men and women are taught that they are different, and they are taught to model/emulate different listening styles Obstacles to Listening Competence Selective listening Obstacle: Selective listening This is the result of natural fluctuations in attention It’s when you focus on only parts of what someone else is saying (what is salient to you) Practice enhancing attention techniques discussed earlier to overcome it Selective listening When you focus on only parts of what someone else is saying (what is salient to you) Eavesdropping Obstacle: Eavesdropping Overhearing someone else’s conversation Can lead to problems, can be taken out of context Not a great idea To be avoided Eavesdropping Example YouTube Link: Eavesdropping example from the Dick Van Dyke show Pseudo-listening Obstacle: Pseudo-listening Acting like you’re paying attention, but you’re not When you nod, and make eye contact to show the other person that you’re listening, but you’re not truly paying attention Pseudolistening example He provides “feedback” but it is not sincere He hears enough of the words she is saying to say “mmhhh” at a few right moments and say a couple of relevant things, but he is not really listening YouTube link here Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vy0pZJeYGYw&feature=emb_logo 43 Aggressive listening Obstacle: aggressive listening Listening with the intention of attacking what the other person is going to say, listening to look for ways to tear the other person down Aggressive listening example Obstacle: aggressive listening YouTube link: Court scene from Legally Blonde Consider as you watch: How can you tell that she is not actively listening, but listening for the purposes of attack? Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSu7BGbyJqc 45 Narcissistic listening Obstacle: narcissistic listening Constantly re-directing the conversation to oneself Often offering negative feedback if the topic strays away from themselves or their interests Narcissistic listening Example YouTube link: here The point isn’t that