I once heard a mother (not someone I knew) bawl out a child of about age 5 with words like the following: “What’s wrong with you? Nobody good would do something like that! You’ll never amount to...

I once heard a mother (not someone I knew) bawl out a child of about age 5 with words like the following: “What’s wrong with you? Nobody good would do something like that! You’ll never amount to anything! You’re stupid!” Incidents like this are usually not isolated ones; they represent typical patterns of behavior between parent and child. As Adler points out, such attacks on the child’s personality can have extremely harmful consequences, including profound resentment and the development of an inferiority complex. Like any parent, I sometimes overreact to my daughter’s misbehaviors, but I am careful to criticize her actions and not her personality. I might say: “Don’t make so much noise! That’s not a good thing to do when mommy is trying to rest.”