Having sex isn’t a natural act. It’s a social one. And there’s considerable variation in what people “count” as “having sex.” Is showering together sex? Deep kissing? Oral sex? Research published in...

Having sex isn’t a natural act. It’s a social one. And there’s considerable variation in what people “count” as “having sex.” Is showering together sex? Deep kissing? Oral sex? Research published in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) surveyed students at a large Midwestern university. While 99 percent of them agreed that heterosexual intercourse counts as sex, nearly three-fifths thought oral sex didn’t count, and one in five thought anal sex didn’t count (Sanders and Reinisch, 1999). A Gallup poll of Americans found similar rates. On the other hand, a 2004 survey found more than one-third believed deep kissing does count as sex (Rawlings et al, 2004). Men are more likely to count deep kissing than women. In fact, definitions of sex vary by gender and other factors, like age and nationality. Men are more likely than women to count genital touching, and younger people include fewer erotic behaviors as sex than older ones do.