Annotate your finished draft to show the techniques you have used: MISSING
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Your draft will be evaluated according to the Drafting Your Argument rubric. Make sure to revise your paper and that 4.09 has followed these revisions!
See attached 4.08 essay please make revisions that need to be made to the essay above once that's done fill out 4.09. you will need to make all revisions in essay and they use the draft from 4.08 and the newly revision to complete 4.09
4.08 Drafting Your Argument In New York City obesity has become one of the significant epidemics in the recent period. On healthy eating and drinking habits have been seriously affecting the health benefits and wellbeing of the citizens in New York. It has been reported that citizens of New York are developing obesity in their early life, and it is an alarming concern that even the school children are suffering from obesity. The factors that are leading to obesity in children and the other citizens are effectively analyzed in this assessment. Primarily it is obvious to note that obesity refers to a complex condition that can occur due to social and physical environment, genetics, medical history and behaviors like poor diet and physical inactivity. Effective efforts regarding nutrition and physical activity can be implemented in order to solve these issues. This particular assessment draws two claims. Counterpoints and rebuttal points are also drawn associated to the claimed statement. Soda needs to be banned in New York city to fight the harmful effects of obesity that are affecting the health condition of children and adult citizens of the country. Soda contains high level sugar that mixes with the blood and if it is not properly digested, it can cause diabetes cholesterol and other harmful diseases on the citizens. There is a high possibility for the people to be affected by this disease and it has already been pointed out that most of the people in America are highly obese. In many cases, it is influenced by the environment and the peers “The reasoning is simple: as societies become more obese, individual attitudes towards being overweight change, with the acceptance of being overweight increasing and even ideal weight perceptions changing. Thus, both mean and desired body weights among adult Americans have increased from 1994 to 2002” (Rundle et al.). On the other hand, it is also to be notified that so the consumption is not the only factor that advance behind New York's obesity epidemic but there are other underlying factors and lack of healthy lifestyle condition that are to be blamed. “Among 4,103 patients with COVID-19 at an academic health system in New York City, BMI >40 kg/m2 was the second strongest independent predictor of hospitalization, after old age” (Stefan et al.). Majority of the population do not follow proper healthcare and diet. Successive dependence upon fast food and package food are the main reason behind these issues. Even if it is to be said, there are other underlying points about soda consumption and manufacturing. Because soda works as a catalyst and one of the main driving factors of the obesity epidemic but also the ban of it will cause unemployment. The industry of soda manufacturing and supplying are huge. Many people are dependent upon this industry and the stakeholders will be deeply affected by the band of this product (Schroeder et al.). That is why their needs to be other ways to cut down the over consumption of sugar and finding of other reasons behind obesity needs to be curbed down. This way will there be any economic disruption and growth, nor will there be lack of employment and social dysfunction. The problem with obesity epidemic can be eradicated from childhood since there are childhood obesity issues in New York. Fort beginning it is very important to make a habit of motoring good lifestyle and healthy food habits for children. The children need to be trained to have a healthy meal and regular exercises including sports so that they do not get obese in their adulthood. Most of the children these days do not follow the basic guidelines of a healthy lifestyle and that is why they need to be property understood the requirements of a healthy lifestyle so that it remains in their regular habits. Despite the inclusion of habits, it is not always effective to prevent obesity because of genetic disabilities that many of the children have shown. Sometimes, obesity runs in the family, especially in case of immigrants, who do not have proper nutrition. “Immigrant women had higher risk of GDM than U.S.-born women, with adjusted relative risks ranging from 1.2 among non-Hispanic black women (95% confidence interval, 1.2-1.3) to 1.6 among Hispanic women (95% confidence interval, 1.4-1.8). Increasing body mass index was associated with GDM risk in all groups, but relative risks were weaker among immigrants” (Janevic et al.) That is why the children can be obese despite of the maintenance of healthy habits and lifestyles. Hormonal effects can also cause the problem which is why regular check-ups and diets are needed to be followed. Good food habits in the childhood and healthy physical exercises are mandatory for the children so that they have the potentiality to restrict any kind of illness and obesity can be fought. But at the same time, it is also important to attend medical guidance and indulgence into regular medical intervention (Nakeshbandi et al.). Despite the genetic influence, it is always better to maintain healthy lifestyle and regular health activities which will eradicate in your other diseases that come along with obesity. In both the claims that are made obesity was the main theme that very effectively discuss in this assessment. New York City potentially focuses on the negative effects of soda on the health and wellbeing of the citizens in the New York City. While the second claim discuss about the aspects that can prevent obesity among children in the New York City. Both the claims are potentially counterclaimed and effective rebuttal points are presented countering the counterclaims. Obesity is one of the significant health concerns in the New York City and effective health programs are planned by the government officials to check the obesity pandemic. However, any programs or policies will have effective negative or positive impact on the economy and the society. Works Cited Janevic, Teresa, et al. "The role of obesity in the risk of gestational diabetes among immigrant and US-born women in New York City." Annals of epidemiology 28.4 (2018): 242-248. Nakeshbandi, Mohamed, et al. "The impact of obesity on COVID-19 complications: a retrospective cohort study." International journal of obesity 44.9 (2020): 1832-1837. Rundle, Andrew, et al. "The urban built environment and obesity in New York City: a multilevel analysis." American Journal of Health Promotion 21.4_suppl (2007): 326-334. Schroeder, Krista, et al. "Implementation of a school nurse-led intervention for children with severe obesity in New York City schools." Journal of pediatric nursing 35 (2017): 16-22. Stefan, Norbert, et al. "Obesity and impaired metabolic health in patients with COVID-19." Nature Reviews Endocrinology 16.7 (2020): 341-342. Publishing Your Argument Worksheet Part A: Reflection Step 1: Compare your first draft and your final draft. Step 2: Select the paragraph with the most revisions and edits between the first and final drafts. Step 3: Follow the instructions in the boxes below. Box 1 Copy and paste the paragraph you selected in Step 2 from your first draft. Box 2 Copy and paste the same paragraph from your final draft. Highlight the changes you made in pink. Box 3 Reflection: Discuss in at least five sentences the changes you made and why the final draft of the paragraph is an improvement over the first draft. Part B: Argument Paste the entire final draft of your argument here. Part C: Infographic Paste your infographic here.